Day 31- Luck, Rehabilitation and 1973

There are many job opportunities for the blind and visually handicapped. Doctor, lawyer, musician, artist, teacher, entrepreneur... the limits are only on the person's imagination.
Section 503 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 {1} lists the compliance in workplace. Not just compliance, but sets the framework for building a better, more diverse workforce. Inclusion of people with different abilities into any workforce is beneficial for the whole of the economic system.{2} Allowing anyone to have access to a job allows them to have power over their own lives.

Giving access to assistive technology is of the utmost importance to individuals that have either visual or hearing impairment, just as much as railing and wheelchair accessible entries. This can be a huge cost in the beginning, but the benefits are greater employment opportunities and diversity among employees.  To not deny rights to all people, or in other words, non-discrimination is vital to our economy.

Between 2000 and 2010 the poverty level went up by .14% for those with disabilities {3}. That rate might not seem much in the scheme of things, but that rise means that that many more are on assistance of some sort.

In the end, we all pay in the form of taxes. Shouldn't that money be spent in a better form, such as fitting existing business with aids to employee disabled?{4} To me, and this is just my opinion, it would be better in the long run to help employ as many people as possible, no matter which section of the workforce it happens to be. Just the ability to work raises the level of self confidence {5} and in doing so, helps the whole well being of an individual {6}...
 So, this all is great, but how does it affect the individual? I can tell you from my own experiences that being able to work really does help my mental and physical well being. Before, when I first started out needing to work, after the death of my husband, I was terrified. I had no money, I had virtually no experience...

I was already having more and more disruption in my vision... Not knowing where to turn and what is offered to people who are visually impaired is frightening. I didn't have a clue what to do, I needed help, but I didn't know where to turn.
I was just lucky enough to know a person that worked for the local college who knew someone that needed a floral arrangement. The person knew that I had been a florist, way back... and she recommended me. That led to a job with the college teaching Floral Design. I was tremendously lucky. It was of nothing but luck that I got that job. I couldn't function in a floral shop, I couldn't drive everyday, It was sheer luck that I got hired...

There was one more break. My vision was so bad that I had to go to the doctor after only a few months of getting new contacts. I just couldn't see at night. I couldn't drive at all at night, and driving in the daytime was chancy at best. The doctor said that the cataracts had grown so much in the three months since my last checkup that I needed to have them out. I couldn't afford surgery, I could barely feed myself and my son... even with the job at the college. I was only on part time, there was no insurance coverage, I had no means of having surgery... so the doctor referred me to the Division of Blind Services{6}

call that a break? ... I go blind so I get sent to a government agency? But, it was something that helped me tremendously. I was able to have the surgery on my eyes with their help through the Vocational Rehabilitation Program{7}, and they did try to find me a job that was more stable... but I have to say, they didn't really assist me otherwise. I wasn't told that they had a support group that meets each week, they didn't tell me that I could get a lot of help that I could have... I had to hunt all that up on my own.

I did find the National Library Services which helped so much. I wrote about it before on this blog, it is the only way that I can read, which I took for granted before... but after being unable to read for years, I was hungry for knowledge, any book would do.

All in all, the surgery and the subsequent surgeries that I had to have  were well worth the effort, and I have no room for complaints from the agency, but as usual, I do complain. I was rendered unable to work at all after the problem with the retina and the subsequent problems with the cornea... I didn't get picked back up from the agency since this is "unrelated" to the original cataract surgery... so I am on my own now. I have gained a lot of insight from writing this blog, things that I never knew and places I didn't know existed... like the schools that are available to learn not only braille, but that teach you how to cope with the disability{9}, that teach you to be able to work, communicate and live with the abilities you have.

By the way, since going legally blind, I have learned how to make jewelry, work with metal, and how to run a business. The road has been very bumpy and I still balk at asking for help, but the rewards are uncountable. Letting people into my world has been hard for me. I still try to hide the fact that I am legally blind. I still try to act like there are no hindrances for me.... which is utterly silly, but it is not as uncommon as you would suppose. Franklin D. Roosevelt hid the fact that he was bound to a wheelchair{10}.

I am extremely thankful for every bit of vision I have left, and hope that it lasts for a while. I am lucky. I have the chance to learn and grow into what some people are born into. I still can't wrap my mind around what it is to be totally blind. There is no way to know for anyone unless you are totally blind. I admire so many people that function day to day with any impairment. It's tough, and you have to be tremendously brave and strong just to live day to day, accepting help when needed and learning to cope on your own when you can.

Thank you for joining along on this 31 days of exploring, it has been fun as well as educational for me... and a bit trying... Please visit the 31 Days site and visit the other blogs, there are some that are amazing! 





1...US Department of Labor. Rehabilitation Act of 1973. http://www.dol.gov/ofccp/regs/compliance/factsheets/Sec_503_508c.pdf
2...Christopher Button. Reauthorized Rehabilitation Act Increases Access To Assistive Technology. http://www.resnaprojects.org/nattap/library/atq/rehbact.htm
3... Carmen DeNavas-Walt, Bernadette D. Proctor, Jessica C. Smith.US Census Bureau. September 2012. http://www.dol.gov/compliance/laws/comp-rehab.htm
4... Tuttle, D.W. (1984). Self-esteem and adjusting with blindness: The process of responding to life’s demands. Springfield, IL: C. Thomas. http://books.google.com/books?id=Rs3_N0M0VdoC&pg=PA169&lpg=PA169&dq=Tuttle,+D.W.+%281984%29.+Self-esteem+and+adjusting+with+blindness:+The+process+of+responding+to+life%E2%80%99s+demands.+Springfield,+IL:+C.+Thomas&source=bl&ots=E9Fk8wa2sP&sig=-xUu_ZroFlUBRPbs1XH_7NDdhc4&hl=en&sa=X&ei=kexTVIH5L8SjyAS20oHYCw&ved=0CC8Q6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=Tuttle%2C%20D.W.%20%281984%29.%20Self-esteem%20and%20adjusting%20with%20blindness%3A%20The%20process%20of%20responding%20to%20life%E2%80%99s%20demands.%20Springfield%2C%20IL%3A%20C.%20Thomas&f=false
5...http://www.dol.gov/odep/pubs/fact/connect.htm
6... Louisiana Center for the Blind. http://www.louisianacenter.org/philosophyandmethodology/
76...Texas Department of Assitive and Rehabilitative Services (DARS). http://www.dars.state.tx.us/dbs/index.shtml
8...Texas Department of Assitive and Rehabilitative Services. Individual Plan for Employment. http://www.dars.state.tx.us/dbs/DevelopIPE.pdf
9... Hadley  School for the Blind. http://www.hadley.edu/downloads/pdf/Summary_of_Long-Range_Plan-2013-2018.pdf
10...Ability Magazine. http://www.abilitymagazine.com/FDR_story.html

Day 30-Productivity, Creativity and Eating

Growing up, I never thought about my life being different than other kids. When I was a kid, I thought that I would grow up, be a nurse,  a doctor, or a stewardess, maybe a schoolteacher... Probably a mom, and that I would live happily ever after. I wasn't one of those girls that wanted to be a princess. I didn't want to be an astronaut. I did think about how much fun it would be to fly a plane... 
I guess I just didn't ever think about how different my life would be. 
To be a nurse, you need to have good vision, though there are doctors that are blind... I don't know any personally, but Dr. Stanley Wainapel is a blind physician practicing rehabilitation medicine in New York {1}. I can't even fathom how hard it was for him to get through school... I can't even learn braille.  My sister wanted me to be a Pediatrician, my aunt wanted me to be a Chiropractor, my mom wanted me to be a nurse... sigh...
College consisted of reading and reading and more reading. Math problems thrown in here and there and more reading. I can't imagine being totally blind and getting through so much material. Then there is the practical side. So much to do and learn, so many miniscule things that you have to remember that add up to be a huge pile of information. I was learning that medicine wasn't the field that I wanted to be in.

I was told when I was about 10 or 11 that I would never fly a plane... this was a recruiter for the Air Force. I had always loved sitting on the fence at my aunt and uncle's house watching the jets take off and land. Their house was just a mile South of an airfield that is now long shut down, but when I was a kid, you could wave at the pilots and they would wave back... that was great, it gave me that thought of wanting to go places, fast. Being told that one of the things that intrigued you was not going to happen...kind of breaks your spirit.

Well, teaching was on the list of possibilities, I love language and studied Latin, French, Spanish and I dabbled in German, Greek, and Italian.  One of my aunts had lived in Germany and was fluent, My mother took French and Latin, my dad as well. My grandmother spoke French and well... my best friend's mother was Greek, I worked with her for a year, and I spent a bit of time at their home, and I was getting pretty good at understanding Greek... Spanish comes naturally, I live in the Southwest... and Italian, well... I have a pretty diverse set of friends and family. We have family that re from Japan and China, I am ashamed that I am not at all able to speak Asian languages... I can write simple things like 'double happiness' and maybe... um.... well, that's about it..but you'd think I was kind of qualified to be able to go into teaching language. Not so much. 

Reason number one that I am not a language teacher...I was born and raised most of my life in Texas.  I have a horrible drawl and I have never been able to get rid of it. We went to France and I was forced to make people understand me, but I am usually too embarrassed to try to speak to people. That's another thing about being a teacher no matter the subject... you have to be able to communicate. It doesn't take sight to be able to talk. I am kind of confused at how it is possible to grade papers and to help find things in books... I know it is possible to be a teacher and be blind...
There are so many aids now to helping read for blind, visually impaired, and low vision. A few items are the magnifiers, readers and large print keyboards {3} College is now more accessible than ever, it is easier than ever to use tools to get through the class loads. Learning should never stop, these aids can be used to continue your education and add fullness to your life!

1...Helen O'neal National Foundation for the Blind. https://nfb.org/images/nfb/publications/bm/bm01/bm0105/bm010514.htm
2...http://www.freedomscientific.com/Products/LowVision?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=Search&utm_campaign=Consumer&gclid=COSP2Jml18ECFaM7Mgodx2QARg
3...Freedom Scientific. http://www.freedomscientific.com/

Day 29-Giving life a second chance

This is a bit of a story to tell. Not the fabricated kind. This is one of those that you live in and kind of wonder how it got this crazy...
When my daughter was graduating High School, I divorced... a couple of years later, I remarried and had a beautiful, sweet little bundle of joy, a baby boy. I had problems with this pregnancy. My age played a factor, as did my history of miscarriage,  and my eyes changed early and I started having a lot of problems with floaters and bits of blind spots, it was pre eclampsia again. I had been in bed for the last three months of the pregnancy anyway,  but the doctor insisted on inducing labor,  fearing I would pass the due date and have worse problems... but he was born right on time by our reckoning... and he was perfect, sweet little round face, a bit of auburn fuzz on his head, blue eyes, and such a sweet, angelic baby. He was a good baby and seemed so healthy and happy, and I was in love... not just with my new baby, but with my husband. We were so happy, planning our future together, maybe having another child even though the doctor nearly yelled at me about that... No more babies.
Fang, my nicknamed for him here, was decided, would be our last attempt at babies... and my 'work' from then on, I didn't go back to being a florist. We decided, together, that he would have the opportunity to be home with me until he started to school. I never took him to a nursery and only ever left him with family for a few hours. ever!!!
 Fang  started having problems with his eyes when he first started to school. I was afraid that they might not catch it with the school exams and I took him into my doctor's office. He did have nearsightedness. He needed glasses, but over the years, it hasn't gotten as bad as fast as mine or my daughter's vision. I am so thankful for that. I don't know if it is different nutrition, different climate, different conditions in the house...different genes... what could be the reason for it, but I am so glad that we have been able to keep it to a minimum of changes. Matter of fact, one year it was exactly the same as the last, he only had to go into bigger frames because his head had grown... YIPEE!!!

I worry about my ability to care for my son, if I will lose him in a crowd, if I might not recognize him at school, if he will be in the masses of kids at the football games and me not be able to pick him out... but I have to say, he knows about my blindness. It has nearly consumed me and everything that I do, so he is well aware of what I am going through and how it affects me, and him... and he knows that it is so difficult for me emotionally, though I try to keep that from him. But there have been times when I needed to see something... and I break down and cry because I can't. It is so frustrating. I hate that I am weak in front of my son, but, sometimes it is so frustrating that I forget that he is just a kid.

When my husband passed away, I really had just begun to have major problems with my eyesight. I had a couple of cataracts that had just started getting large enough to be seen, but were large enough to hamper my sight. I was at a place that I was not able to drive at night, not able to function normally... So I had to have the surgery for them, and that is when the trouble really started. My son knows a lot of my inability to do many 'normal' things because he has had to go with me to doctor visits and really knows that it is difficult for me to do the day to day stuff... and he has stepped up and helps me with so many things around the house. 

Fang is so sweet, he will lead me when I need help, especially when we are out. He knows when I am having a lot of trouble and will take my arm, or tell me that the is a curb coming up... or that there is a glass door ahead... things that I won't know, and he helps me to maneuver when we are in a crowd. He knows it is hard for me to get through a bunch of people. I lose my way easily. He just started into Junior High School this year, for parents night, they had the kids go to a basketball game and the parents went around the school to all the classes. Fang was worried that I would get lost but,I wasn't alone, so my son relaxed and got to enjoy his friends.
I want that. I want him to not have to worry about me. I want him to be oblivious like my daughter was, oh, she knew that I needed glasses and wore contacts... but I guess she just never knew that it was so bad.  I tried to make it seem like I was no different than any other mother of her friends... well... except that I did do more with her and her friends than most of the moms... I do with my son as well, though it has slowed down a lot. But I want him to know that I care and love him and want to be a big part of his growing up.
I guess not having a large family was a blessing as well as a curse for me. It would have been such a drain on my body, The pregnancies that I did have were probably more than I should have had... but I feel so blessed that I have my kids.

Day 28- Always Beginning Again

My daughter was an only child for many, many years. She wanted a brother or sister, and I tried, I miscarried soon after I had her, overf the years I had several more miscarriages one a preterm delivery at 25 weeks, that was not viable is what the doctor told me... my time schedule of having a bunch of kids early was off... I borrowed kids; my sisters, inlaws, friends... I had a Girl Scout troop, I homeschooled,  for a time and babysat, I helped out with events and organized and got my mind off having kids... I worked at home then started back full time when my daughter went into Junior High, then before you knew it, my daughter was in High School and  I babysat my great-nieces and nephews  and thought that I would never have more kids...

At 41... I had a son.

Day 27- Lost and Found

I guess the story of our lost kid is in order...
I was not only traumatized by the incident at the nursery, but when we went to the mall one time... and this is utterly embarrassing...  my daughter got lost. We were with my sister's kids, and my husbands two kids from a previous marriage... this is all such a long story, but to condense it down... we had 6 kids, all of stair-step ages... the two older girls, just months apart, looked like twins, the boys, just months apart, looked like they were brothers, not twins, but maybe a year apart in looks... and the two little girls, were two years apart, and looked like sisters... I was not that old, maybe 23? My husband was 33 or 34? Everyone looked at him like he was a dirty old man.... and he was... but all the kids weren't ours... but they looked it... Anyway, I always had them go together as buddies, and trusted the older kids to pay attention to the younger ones... which in your own family, you can do... when it is someone else's kids, not so much. They don't really pay attention do they? We went to eat and then to the mall and were fine, I was keeping watch over them all I thought, I would stop and count... we were fine... until the pet shop. Yes, they still had pet shops in the mall at that point. The older kids were looking at the dogs, the younger at the rats and my baby girl, then about 3? just disappeared. I turned to count kids and she was missing. I panicked, thinking back to the nursery, not able to fathom how I would find her in the mall...

We stopped a guard, told him, I started running around like a crazy woman... I turned a corner to find a woman with my daughter in her arms... my daughter was fine until she saw me... started crying and holding out her arms... and I knew right then that I could never let her further away from me than an arms length. I could tell it was her, because she had on a bright pink dress and jacket, her hair already turning a beautiful blond, and her round, sweet face... but that woman could have easily had her in a car and gone in an instant... I panicked, I cried, I was relieved, and mortified all at once. If I had not been so quick to run around I don't know if I would have found her. I was hurt that my husband wasn't worried in the least. He didn't see her, but I felt like it was because I couldn't see that she got lost. Why was that? Was it the guilt in 'losing' her at the nursery? Was it just a feeling of inadequacy on my part? Was it the truth in the fact that I couldn't see and shouldn't be in charge of kids?

I worried over this for a long time, then when it was time for school... and things went smoothly, I was so happy,

Years later, I found that my daughter didn't know that I was so blind. That I had so much trouble seeing all those years. She herself had to go into glasses during third grade. When I started homeschooling her... I found out that she had 'failed' two of the school exams... and they hadn't notified me, which is a whole other story....  She went into contacts at 11, the same as me... Her eyesight, like mine, got worse and worse over the years, not at the fast pace that mine did, but it did decrease at a rate that was not good. She knew cataracts were a huge problem with me, but didn't know that I was having so many other problems... When she had an exam as an adult, she had to call me so that I could talk to the doctor... and tell him about my eyes... all the trouble I had and was going through at this point... She said that she didn't know that I had so much trouble... and now she is going through some of the same things as me. The floaters, the wet macular degeneration, the probability of going blind at an early age...

I didn't want anyone to know that I had such a hard time seeing, especially my daughter and her friends. I drove like I had no problems, and mostly my vision was correctable to 20/60 and 20/80... most of the time, a couple of times it was even better... not for long mind you, but it did get better and get worse over and over... so I drove, played ball with the neighborhood kids, went camping, canoeing, to museums, to exhibits... anything and everything that I could... I did with my daughter.. She knew I had one large floater, but I guess in her mind it was an oddity, and she didn't think about it until she was in the doctor's office that day.... and tried to tell him about it...she really didn't remember much. So they called... it worried her doctor that I had so much trouble with my eyes... that the doctors had never really found out what was wrong with them, no explanation as to why I had so many problems...

Day 26- Beginning again

Kids are what I decided were on the list of things that I wanted to bring up before the end of the month... I have one post that I have written for last week that talked a lot about my kids, I just wanted to add pictures to it before I scheduled it for posting... and never got the chance to do that. So today, I want to expand on the ideas that you haven't had a chance to read... but it will be ok, and possibly, I will post the first one and it will make a bit more sense.

I had my first child at 20. I had planned on having one way before that, I actually had most of my life planned out. But reality sets in and... things don't always work out as planned.  That plan of having a large family and having grandkids before I was 40 so I'd be able to play and run around with them, being able to do things with them that my grandmother, bless her heart, wasn't able to do with me... just didn't happen.  Dreams don't always come true.

I had my daughter, amidst a rough period in my life, that should have been wonderful but was not so great. I was having second thoughts about my marriage, and I was having second thoughts about my schooling, and having a rough period with my mother and my sister, and I felt a little alone... It was all a bit stressful, and I shouldn't have used this time of my life to rebel.. but rebel I did... I got pregnant, I quit college, I pretty much alienated my whole family... and...well, I fell in love with being a mother.

My eyes changed like most women who are pregnant, and I had to go back into glasses because contacts were impractical. Women have physiological changes in their eyes due to pregnancy, which include corneal changes probably due to water retention, which can cause you to be intolerant to contact lenses. Most doctors won't fit you for contacts if they know you are pregnant... and I was definitely pregnant{1}.
Interocular pressure changes sometimes with pregnancy, and sometimes pregnancy can induce 'dry-eye' syndrome among other maladies, not least of which comes with pre-eclamspia and eclampsia which can bring on blurred vision, retinal hemmorages, and even  retinal detachment among other serious conditions. {2}
So when my eyes started to change, I knew it was a normal thing. I had a sister that had three kids, two brothers who had kids, cousins, friends, all with kids, all had changes, but of course, when I started to have a lot of blurred vision, I thought it was because I was trying to get used to wearing glasses after wearing contacts for so long.
I had Pre-eclampsia.
I didn't know it until I had a visit with the doctor and they did a urine test, which had loads of protein in it, and the nurse said oh my who's got so much protein? ... they all turned towards me... I wanted to faint... I felt like I would, and the nurse grabbed my arm and took me to a room to lie down.My blood pressure was up pretty high, but with the urine sample it was pretty certain that I was indeed having problems. The swelling... the headaches, the blurred vision... I had gained 50 pounds in a matter of a month... they wanted to do a c-section right away, but I promised that I would be good and stay in bed and promised to come in every other day for a week to make sure I was ok... and the doctor agreed. I had known him while I was in Nursing, and he made me promise that if anything changed I would check into the hospital... and indeed, I had more trouble the next week with a lot of pain and, well, I  went into labor on my own the next week and delivered before the doctor could get back to the hospital... so it was me and one nurse... and my little bundle of joy.

She was perfect. Beautiful, tiny, auburn hair and blue eyes, a perfect little girl.
She was such a sweet and wonderful gift. I sat and cried and hugged her until the nurse got help and the doctor came in and made me give her up to go into the incubator. We were able to take her home in just a few days, and she was perfect. I can't tell you how much it was a relief to have her healthy, or pretty much healthy. She ended up having a surgery for inguinal hernias, which is very common in premature babies, both male and female.{3}She was 5 weeks old, and so tiny, and such a trooper thorough it all. I cried and cried because she was so good through all of it.
I didn't want to leave her alone at all, I wanted to sit and watch her and make sure she didn't need anything, but everyone (mostly my mother-in-law) told me that I should get away from her and take care of my husband... go out, do something, take care of myself.... so... I decided that I would go to the beauty shop, get my hair done, go shopping and get a new dress, something to be glamorous, or at least back to myself a bit... but everyone was busy that day, the only day I really could go do things for myself... so at 6 months old... I left my daughter at the day care that everyone had told me was really nice.

I still have trauma from this experience. I know my daughter was fine. I know they took care of her... and I am sure that they were utterly dismayed because I was crying when I stood at the door to pick her up.

I didn't realize that I had such terrible vision until that very moment. I stood at the half door that separated the 'babies' from the toddlers, looking at about 10 babies around the same age as my daughter, all sitting, looking angelic, and all looking the same... the exact same. I didn't know which was mine. I really had no idea which baby was mine. I just started crying. No one knew that was the reason, and no one knew that I was having a hard time seeing... they just thought it was post-partum or something, maybe that I was having problems at home... who knew...

I never left her again. I didn't care what my inlaws or anyone said, I would never leave a baby in the nursery every again.

I had a really hard time letting her go to school, but was happy that she was so outstanding, I mean, her hair had turned a very, very light blond over the years leading up to school. Her skin was ivory, and I dressed her in the sweetest dresses, which was an oddity... most of the girls wore shorts or pants... so she stood out. I was so happy after the first day of school that she didn't get lost, that I was able to find her... and I really needed that.

Having kids is hard for any mother. Worrying and wondering if they are all right, hoping and praying that you are doing the right thing for them... hoping to not lose them... to not misplace them! I have to laugh at that...

1...Cheung, Albert; Scott, Ingrid U. Ophthalmic Pearls-  http://www.aao.org/publications/eyenet/201205/upload/Ocular-Changes-During-Pregnancy-PDF.pdf

2... U.S. National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health; http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000898.htm

3...Boston Children's Hospital. http://www.childrenshospital.org/health-topics/conditions/hernia-umbilical-or-inguinal

Day 25- Starting over

I've been through a little bit of a trial the past week, not feeling up to doing much but answering a few emails, sit and talk to my son, listen to an audio book... not doing much of anything other than sleeping at all... So, I have missed a whole week-plus of writing, and I feel really bad about that. I have several posts ready to go for several of the days, but I'm not sure whether I'll post them or not. Maybe after today, I'll decide if they are necessary.
I wanted to join in the 31 Days Writing Challenge to actually finish a full month, but... I now understand why it is so hard to write for me.  I have days that I am so full of information, so full of ideas, and so full of the want to write.. that I need to, but then there are days that I am just not able to do it. Until I am proficient enough to write without actually looking at what I am writing, when I am proficient enough to use a reader for what I have written, and when I am well enough to be able to sit and think... maybe I'll join again and finish a whole month.

I had a procedure a week ago last Monday that left me utterly unable to do much of anything, and I am now wondering if there is anything  I can relate to others that would help or educate or to make light of the situation I'm in, but I have decided not to visit it yet....

Day 21-Education

The ability to learn is taken for granted. I don't have the data on that, it is just a given. In the United States, school is a given. When children are 5 and older, it is mandatory  to attend a school.  Public Education has been the mainstay of the country since 1918 (Fisher Act {1}) The Constitution of the United States of America does not provide for the education of children, before Congress instituted the public school system, it was left up to the individual parents, the states and the society as a whole to see to the education of our children. . The Department of Education was formed in 1867 to collect data on schools throughout the United States. {2} Up to this time, there were school houses, home schools, private schools, and they all taught children the basics. Some were taught foreign languages, some were only taught the rudimentary skills of readin, ritin, and rithmatic.  Now while the three 'R's have been a staple and a basis of all other education, there is so much more out there to learn... 
Not all children were able to actually have a clssroom, many had a one room school house where all grades learned side by side from one teacher. My Mother, her siblings and my inlaws were all taught in one room school houses.
There have been some acts of Congress that have actually been landmarks in the society of the United States and they had to do with education. 1917 Smith-Hughes Act that gave federal aid to schools..the 1918 Child Labor Law{3}, Civil Rights Act of 1964, Public Law 94-142 The Education for all Handicapped Children Act, and the 2002 No Child Left Behind Act had bipartisan support and passed through Congress{4}... These laws have all leveled the playground so to speak for all children to have access to public education.OK, so the Child Labor law isn't to do with education, but it helped enable children to have the time to go to public schools. Before this time in history, children were able to work the same hours as adults, in the same type jobs, in the same hazardous conditions...



1...The Cabinet Papers 1915-1984. National Archchives. http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/cabinetpapers/themes/fisher-act.htm
2...The Federal Role in Education. US Department of Education. http://www2.ed.gov/about/overview/fed/role.html
3... http://www.lawnix.com/cases/hammer-dagenhart.html
4...http://www2.ed.gov/about/overview/fed/role.html

Day 18-Counting Down the Days

Please use the tab above to find the "List of 31 Days Posts" and follow the series.

These are the days that try your patience. Counting down to surgeries or any type of procedure really is  nerve racking, and can make you irritated and anxious. I am both.
I'm having a procedure done Monday and I'm not looking forward to it. Over the past few years I have been to more doctors than I would like to think about. I don't want to go to another at all, but I do have another specialist to visit after this. ugh.

My last couple of specialists haven't been that great. Oh, they are nice... but they didn't really help, and in the case of one... maybe hurt?
One of the specialists wanted to do another surgery on my eye to see if they could repair some of the damage, another says no... one says that it is not even damaged, the first says yes it is... the second says that medications will help... the third says no... the first says surgery... the second says surgery, but not the same as the first... and so on... No two can agree and heaven help you if you say... well... Dr. so and so said this... they will all disagree!
So here I am.
Waiting to figure out which one is right.
All along it might be that I need to go to a larger city to find a doctor that might have the answer. I need to be evaluated again to find out if I qualify for training for low vision. All the doctors agree that it would help. Not all of them agree that my vision won't return. One says that it won't, another says it might, the third says there is no reason that I shouldn't be able to see... of course he does say that there are several other things going on that the other two say aren't... sigh...
Is this confusing?
Yes!
Is there any easy solution to the doctor problems?
No.
Am I frustrated?
Yes!
Will I ever be able to see any better than now?
I guess that time will tell.

Day 17-- Not Seeing what is in Front of You

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This is going pretty far off the original outline for my blog, but this is the first day that I have felt like actually blogging for a few days now, and I felt that this is what I need to write.  Bear with me!
I drive my family crazy most days,
In my house, everything has a place. All objects need to be in their place... and if they aren't, I can't find them... even if said object is right in front of me.
 I have discussed that I have been going blind over the course of my lifetime, with a few episodes that have brought on a greater degree of blindness. With a few statements, you might have figured that at times, my vision is so bad that I am unable to function. Most days, I can, but those days that I can't... I know that I drive the family crazy. My son will point out what I am looking for (usually right in front of me) and will shake his head.
It is a burden on them I know. What I don't know is... how can I change the way I function so that I am not a burden on my kids or my friends?

 I am learning how to read braille, but really? I don't know if I will ever be able to really read. It is tough to learn. I mean, I learned Latin, French, Spanish and some Italian and Greek... surely I can learn Braille.  It is unlike learning a foreign language. The whole premise is that you feel the dots on the page and you decipher those raised bumps into language. I can't do that. Oh, I can feel the dots, but my mind is just not going to register the patterns... and I am unable to figure out what the patterns mean. Honestly, I think maybe there is like a block in my brain because it shouldn't be this hard... should it?  Is it this hard to learn in childhood? Do other people have this hard a time?
 To deal with my hearing loss, I started learning American Sign Language (ASL). Actually I started learning  in elementary school and then as an adult I took a video course... before it was cool kind of classes. In elementary, if you were in this certain section of the grade level, and you had good grades... they allowed you to chose a place to "work" . It was a privilege  to do this. It meant that you had some responsibility and could get out of doing something... I don't remember now what it was that you got to avoid.
 I was offered to work with the "handicapped" kids. I was the only one that ever worked in there. I don't know why...  There were hearing impaired kids that taught me to sign and I remembered simple phrases and how to spell. So,  when they offered the online classes as kind of a 'perk' for living in an isolated area,  I thought, yes... that is the class I can build upon what I know. I even attended a couple of workshops in a larger town, but I never got very good at it. I didn't have anyone to "talk" to. Kind of like learning French to not ever use it to speak to anyone... it was kind of lost on me. 

Braille?  This is just not going to turn out as well as the ASL...Not only is it difficult to learn, it isn't like a language that you can learn and share... it is something very private. You can use the knowledge to communicate with other people, but to me it is so personal. You can read it and then read aloud, but it isn't like translating it from a foreign language... it is translating it from your fingers to your brain to your mouth...
I really think there is a block in there somewhere that is stopping me...

After discussing this before on the blog, I am really noticing  more and more...how signs in Braille aren't very orderly. I am always shocked that they don't really have a uniform height and more of a uniform way that signage is used... maybe the Americans With Disabilities Act will bring about the changes needed to make them uniform here in the States. But it is going to take more than an Act of Congress to be sure that all businesses follow these guidelines. It is going to take the public to notice that signs can be confusing if they aren't used properly.... and ... lack of signs can be confusing...
The whole idea is to enable people to be more independent.  To be able to function without having to depend on other people is of the utmost importance to someone like me. I have been independent for so long, it is hard to give up my freedom and mobility. I don't want to depend on my friends to take me everywhere, to have to accompany me to the bathroom... sigh,..
I suppose that is why I remember directions the way I do. I memorize floor-plans, memorize maps, memorize different routes to take. My daughter told me recently that she didn't know how I could do it, whenever we would go to a new town, I could navigate to where ever we were going without any problems. I didn't have to worry about directions... that is because I memorized the maps.  This is a problem if I am telling someone else where to go, because I "see" in my mind where I need to go. I have a hard time translating that into spoken directions... maybe that same block that I have with Braille?

Day 16--Trying

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I have been to the dentist twice this week, and I am in a bit of pain. I am hoping that the work done is going to relieve some of the swelling and pressure on the left ear, I didn't realize that I had a swollen gland and that could be a bit of the lessening of my hearing in that ear... hopefully. I still have the specialist to see after all the medications are done with. He will hopefully have answers to my latest hearing loss. As for my eyes.. I wish that having a tooth fixed might fix that... sigh... It has been trying to say the least in reading the instructions given by the dentist, the antibiotic... the pain reliever. I have a hard time making sure I get the right dosage and make sure that I can remember the times... the quantity to make the right dosage. My son, the angel that he is... opens the child proof caps for me and will read the labels for me. He is a love.
I am wondering if I should be the one raising this beautiful spirit. He deserves someone that he doesn't  have to take care of.
Sigh.
I hope to finish the blog that I had started for today... tomorrow.
Please come back and join me.  Share a cup of decaffeinated coffee with me... or a cup of herbal tea...

Day 15-- Going the Distance

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I am posting a  very short blog today, it is in no way a reflection of what I want to say but I wanted to remember the reason I started this challenge... to write every day, whether it is painful or not. I leave this tidbit  in hopes that I feel better tomorrow. I have two posts that I am researching, but I had to go to the dentist yesterday and today... and I am beat.  There is no way I can see any more today than I did yesterday... and I didn't do a lot yesterday... today, I have tried, I've commented a few times on the social media, and sent a few emails...but I am both worn out and in pain... so, I am going to rest my head and my eyes. I will put a hotpad on my jaw, and take some Advil... and  I will try tonight to finish up the research that I am in the middle of.... and,  I promise a treat from another blogger in the 31 Days writing challenge. I know you will enjoy that!
There are so many things I want to share with you, I hope you will visit again when I am more able to share with you.
Thank you for understanding.
Maire

Day 14- Trying to Blog Here!

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The trouble with high tech... is that it is not meant for those who can't see.
The old typewriters were great... you could hear the clickety click, and you could nearly feel the words... With braille typewriters, you could...
With the new computers, you almost can't hear the keys. You can not see what you have typed unless you have the screen set to high powered magnification.... but oh, the ease at which you can change the typing!! Spellcheck is marvelous!! Spellchecker just told me that was the wrong spelling...
Sometimes when I am really tired, I don't even see the squiggly red line under a word... and in some fonts, I can't tell that I have made a mistake... I tend to have all the letters blur together into a blob of black and white..generally, I don't reread the post and  don't know that it is unreadable until my friend tells me.
And so it goes.
 I thought keeping a diary was cool... I just never could do it, I couldn't keep a daily diary for the life of me.  I liked journaling (spellcheck  told me I spelled that wrong) because it seemed a bit more relaxed, kind of... you don't have to write every day, but when you do, it is good to just let it flow.
With a daily diary, I tended to just put down the facts. I look back and think what a waste. I didn't put down why the day was bad, or good... just that something happened. Or if I put down the happening... I didn't elaborate on if I enjoyed it or if it was horrible...
So with blogging... it seems that I can decide to write once a day, once a week, once a month, or once a year if I want to, and if I don't post... I am not going to look back and say... oh, look at all those blank pages... but I do look at the blank time and wish I had written something... even just a bit.
It means something to me to look back and read...a snippet of my life, or of my kids... and it is good.

Books I want to read!

Blogging is hard though. To post something interesting and factual... you need to do a lot of research and thinking.  You need to read a lot, you need to study the facts and see what is relevant. Cut out what is irrelevant and to try to capture the feeling that you want to convey. If you are visually impaired, that is tough. I have bookcases of books I want to read and I end up tiring my eyes so much on the computer that I don't even try to read a book.
I use the National Library Service for the blind for any actual "reading" that I do. I "read" audio books... which is wonderful, since I haven't been able to actually read printed books for a while now. The service is wonderful! I have a special player that uses a decoder to play back books that I have downloaded from BARD (Braille and Audio Reading Download). They have thousands of books to choose from. You can also get titles sent to you, and they also have braille and large type books and media.

  Larger font is helpful to be able to see more clearly on the computer, you can use the reader that actually will read to you what has been typed...  If it is something like a blog that you have written, it is good to have a friend proof read. Sometimes I find that having someone else read my blog is best. If you have a friend that has time for it...
Asking someone else to help all the time is taxing as well... not to just them, but to yourself as well. I am embarrassed to ask... all the time... to be helped. ergh.

This would be a blog today, full of pictures, jokes, music and some facts and figures

I feel like I owe a lot of favors.
You need to reciprocate with the people that follow you as well, you need to read their blogs and comment to make it equitable... I know some of my followers don't have blogs, but most do, and they want me to read along... and that is hard.  After a couple of blog posts.. I am done for the day. I feel guilty that I am just skimming so much, and that I do an injustice to writers out there.

Care and planning that went into this

Is it just me, or does anyone else have that strong desire to hold a book?
I mean, the only drawback to blogging... is not having that physical journal in your hands. I love the smell of paper. I love the smell of books...especially old books. I want to be able to hold a book in my hands, to smell it, to caress it... and... well, fondle it.  I love the old books for their jackets as well, the binding.. the care that was taken to make them nice.


This 31 Days series has been tough so far, reading and researching for the posts has been taxing. Looking through thousands of pictures has been fun but a real drain on my energy and sight. I have thought about dropping out, I thought about changing my subject to something a bit easier... and I am not alone. So many have gotten behind and try to catch up or beat themselves up... or do like I have done... I am cutting back at least once a week. I will post something that is a bit lighter... something a bit easier to handle...
I am not pushing facts and figures so hard... as I had planned on doing in my outline... I realize that nobody is going to be reading this anyway, so why not just do what feels right anyway?

Is there something that you would like to know about blindness? Is there a question on being Visually Impaired?  Don't be afraid to ask... Now is the time to do it. Just ASK!! lol... If I don't know.. I will find out!

Day 13--- Photographs and Memories

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Parents and Sis, Pre-Me!

Photographs have been around for well over 100 years. They help document history, remind  us of family, friends, places we've visited, how we want something done, the colors of or placement of things... History... ah, that is the stuff I'm talking about. We have pictures of the Civil War, President Lincoln, Buildings and bridges, homes and gardens, simple folk, fancy dresses...
I love to take photos.

Looks out of a Bond movie!

My mother took tons of pictures when we were young. Most of the time they were great pictures. She has tons of pictures from when she was young, most of them are great! Matter of fact, I don't remember seeing any that were bad. She had an old Brownie camera that she started out with. Later on she had other cameras, I am sure most of them were Kodak. One Instamatic camera that she had was so cute and took terrific pictures.

Distant relatives in a town that is now abandoned

My Aunt and her beau

Most of the pictures of us when I was growing up were black and white. I suppose they were the cheapest film you could get, and I still love that format. I still take pictures and use the black and white option. But the clear color shots that were occasionally thrown in the mix are great. I had forgotten the red corduroy pants. Or that the house was done in creams and that seafoamish green that has come back in style... or that my brother was sooo cool. Ah, he would have been cool even in black and white!

Biggar, Scotland Corn Exchange

Without pictures, we would still remember our family and friends... but would those memories be so strong? Sight plays so much of a role in your memories...the part of your brain that is in charge of storing our emotional memory is also in charge of processing our senses.{1} Now that is a big thing.If you look at a picture, you have that emotional memory, not just a cognizance of the  face or the place or the color, but that you have emotions tied to that picture. So, to a blind person, they have to make up for that loss... Do their emotional ties differ from a sighted person? I'm going to find out if there have been studies done on that subject.

The River Eamont and Brougham Castle

So we take pictures.

I love to take photos of colors and buildings, fields and flowers. I always think that I'll paint that field when I get home... and sometimes I do, but usually the photos don't come out very clear or I lose the desire to paint them or... more than not... I don't have time.
I have had a few people call me asking if I would take photos for them...I've photographed kids, pre-dance.. prom stuff... and I got pretty good at it... but I am far from professional. I am not high tech, I am a throw back to an earlier era... nah, I do have a digital camera.
 I like still life, the photos of my family, the pictures of buildings... and that is how i would keep it. Most of the photos I take come out blurry... and I never know it until I get home and put them on the computer and blow them up... I think they are great shots... until I can see them on a larger scale!!! Then there is the lighting... Glare is such a problem, for the pictures and for my eyes... hard to see in bright light...
Meridith Bernard of    Meridith Bernard Photography offers this information: when taking a picture of people (something I need to work on!)  You need a 'catchlight' in the subject's  eyes.  So positioning them in a way t some that there is filtered light to their side  will yield best results or something to reflect the light back into their face if they are lit from behind... . Softness is what you are looking for, I suppose, not glaring lights...

The Blob

Now, another problem is that I have a tendency to see what I see through the view finder, and think that it is good. My head is crooked or maybe my eyes? and I don't realize that they are... because to me, that is how I see... but when I take that photo, it seems that it comes out crooked, or I see half of what I wanted to photograph... like the "Biggar Corn Exhange building. I thought I had the whole building in the sights... but obviously... not so much...All I can say is... isn't it wonderful that we have cameras now that you don't have to waste time and money with pictures that are trash material? Really, digital cameras are such a blessing. The ability to take hundreds of photos without spending anything on film or developing... wow! amazing!

Forth Bridge

If there is something on the lens... I don't see it. I have to take off my glasses to be able to see in the viewfinder of the camera. I do love the large viewing screen that some cameras have but my Cannon has the small view finder that you put your eye to and line up the little boxes... which should help me to align the camera correctly... but... I am far sighted now, and it's difficult to see anything with the other problems in my eyes. So, I think if I want to keep using a camera... it might be time to invest in another type. 
I guess to sum it up,  it is a matter of taking time, not getting excited and wanting to snap picture after picture, and making sure I back up a bit, steady the camera, and use good lighting... It would probably help to use a tripod with a level in it. Many times, it is hard to do that, simply because it is hard to carry a tripod all the time... I just try to look at the overall picture. If it looks level, and it looks in focus... it might be. I can try it out. Sometimes I think everything is right but I get it larger on the computer... and it is all wonky... But sometimes... they turn out lovely!

Firth of Forth at Portobello at Dusk

Portobello at dusk

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***Visit Meridith's page and see some  of her work, very professional. While you are at it, visit her "Pen" page and read her blog on the 31 Days Writing Challenge.
both pages are extremely interesting. This is the link for the 31 Days blog 31 Days of Living Like I'm Dying Blog. Please visit and read!

1...Piergiorgio Strata,1,2, Bibiana Scelfo1, Benedetto Sacchetti1,2:Involvement of cerebellum in emotional behavior p. 8 paragraph 3

Day 12- One Last Look

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Jenner's in Edinburgh, House of Fraser :)

I wanted to leave you with one last look at some of the pictures of the last visit to Europe. Just a few...
Tomorrow, I'll be linking a page on photography and speaking on the challenges of taking pictures. If you love photos, you might want to come by and check the linked pages!

E

on the Royal Mile, Edinburgh, Scotland

corner is old Martin's Bank then the  old Barclay's Bank gate is entrance to old cattle market

window of old ABC theater in Carlisle

Lily in the garden, Silloth

Sunset and Criffel in the distance

Gravestone at old Kirkconnell cemetery

Lowther Street,  Carlisle

Cowbridge, Brother's Water, Lake District, England

Drain at Blacket House, Eaglesfield, Scotland

On the hill just to the right of center is where the Bell peel  tower once stood. Blacket House grounds
Eaglesfield, Scotland

Day 11- Before You Leave

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I've posted that I loved traveling, yes, that is true, but the worst part of traveling, whether sighted or blind... is the leaving...


Going "home" is always bittersweet. You look forward to being in the place you belong... but covet the time you have had in that dream world.

Like all good things, the my studies and traveling  had to come to an end. My vision had worsened to the point of needing to be seriously looked at. I was not insured as the British subjects are... I couldn't have taxed their system, well, I could have. It turns out that they are very good in the UK about treating foreigners, the National Health Services are very accessible...Ophthalmologists are very well trained in handling retinal detachment, and possibly finding the cause earlier would have helped some in my case. 

 but, in the case that you need surgery,  you might not be able to fly for a while... and my son needed to go back to the US school system. He needs to be able to graduate with his class... needs to be able to go through the system.... be a good little citizen.... or else I would have never, ever left.
I still pine for distant lands.

Before we had to leave, before my vision got worse than it had been in France, we visited Scotland again, Edinburgh, The Kingdom of Fife... Ecclefechan... and so many, many places. We wandered through libraries, caves, gardens, Abbeys, on beaches, over water, through woods, and ruins.  Over bridges and under. We made the best of the time we had left. Ate the full "Scottish Breakfast" and had fried Haggis. Watched the Pipe Band Competition  and waded in Hermitage Water, we sat on Arthur's seat, had kabobs in Portobello, gazed at the ships making their way into the Firth of Forth. I sat in the graveyards of my ancestors for days, listing their names, mapping their resting places...