Day 5--Miracles in the midst of madness

Please use tab above to find the "List of 31 Days Post" for more of the series.

Welcome back to the 5th installment of the 31 Days of Vision
We are having a beautiful Autumn, the nicest I can remember in a long time,  Cold mornings followed by warm, languid afternoons, and we are enjoying every minute of it!
Sunday is always our 'family day' so this is going to be a short posting. I am pulled by the desire to be with my son. We are going to pick up the matriarch of the family, who will be 90 in January. Mom is needing to get out for the day, and we are going to take her to the college campus for a nature walk and a picnic.
I can't drive so it isn't me who is taking us, my friend is driving, bless his heart, he allows himself to be dragged out like this, I think he kind of likes Mom though, she is always doting on him. I think he enjoys that!
Having an aging parent is tough, more than I ever thought it would be. I didn't have a lot of experience with my grandmother, She was pretty old when I was born , I am the last of the grandkids... My grand mother had an accident in her yard and went into the nursing home, didn't live too long after that. Mom on the other hand was driving until a couple of years ago. she was starting to get forgetful, but not to a point of being a danger... now, I wouldn't trust her to walk down the street by herself.
Anyway, she isn't able to do much now and  she is frustrated. I am frustrated since I am in the same boat. I feel really inadequate not being able to help.
Right after she had surgery a couple of years ago, I was able to be there every day, I went to the hospital and sat with her, took the kids (my son and grandson) and we made sure she didn't get lonely or get up and walk out...after she was better but not able to do for herself I would dress her, feed her, and be there off and on all day, but that dwindled when she was much better physically. My son went back to school and I had classes to teach I was only able to go help her with dinner and visit for an hour or two, then when I started having so much more trouble with vision, once a week was all I was able to make it.
Shuttling my son back and forth  from school and football and whatever else he was doing... took everything out of me and I had to let something go... I quit teaching, I quit socializing, and I concentrated on my mother and son and nothing else.
It sounds kind of drastic and it was, but I was having so much trouble seeing . The retina in both eyes started turning loose. I was losing what little vision I had. The doctor gave me medication to help with the swelling, and an antibiotic, to ward off infections, and I sat in a dark room trying to figure out if I would ever be able to see again. I was assured it wasn't that bad, that I would retain vision, but why in the world was it getting worse and worse all of a sudden, my eyes were swollen and I couldn't even let the doctor examine them. I was in  week after week with changed drops and more dilation and  more pain, I was allergic to the drops, before the doctor figured out what it was, I had a corneal ulcer that was terribly deep and terribly painful. I had to give up driving. I had to give up working altogether, and thank God, it was Summer. My son went to stay with my daughter and go to sports camp. I laid on my back, with a warm compress on my eyes, in the dark, moaning and groaning... I couldn't do anything.
It lasted all Summer long. I had to keep my right eye bandaged, the left wasn't as bad. The doctor threatened to sew the eye shut... really... and I was desperate. I had to be able to drive again, no way I can make it alone with a kid and a mother that needs me... so, I sucked it up and just did it. Put on thick sunglasses and bandaged my eye and just drove. My son had to go to school, he had to get home, he had to go to activities, he had to have food, I couldn't be in bed the rest of my life...
The pain was excruciating at the end of the day, every day, my right eye was constantly swollen and bulging,  I can't begin to describe that pain.
So,  I prayed because one night I couldn't take the pain any longer. I had been out all day, to drop off and pick up my son, go to the doctors, pay bills and to the grocery store, and the pain was so much that I didn't think I could stand it another minute. And I prayed sincerely. Please take away this pain, I can't take it another minute... I sat at the kitchen table and cried. I went to take a shower, bent over to turn on the water, and braced myself for the pain... it didn't come. Oh, the ulcer hurt, but the stabbing, deep pain that I had been having any time there was the slightest pressure on my eye, was gone.
I slept for the first time in months without the horrible stabbing pain.
Now, the ulcer is better day after day. It is a struggle every day to keep my eye wet, clean, not touch it, keep it closed most of the time. It is hard to go outside, but we managed to go camping this Summer in the mountains where the air was moist and clean. I have a patch to wear with a pad under it to keep the lid closed so moisture doesn't escape. I use drops to help make tears but have to use them sparingly, they irritate my eyes, I don't get any type of dilation for eye exams, I don't use anything for swelling now. I have had to give up driving all together and depend on family or friends to help.
 I give praise to God every day that the stabbing, horrid pain is gone. I honestly couldn't have stood it any more. You can scoff if you want, but I believe that it was divine intervention. I truly believe that God knows how much we can take, and will not give us burden more than we can handle. I won't ask for total healing. I don't think that is what I am supposed to do. I asked for relief for what I couldn't bear and  the strength and grace to bear what I can. I think that is what is supposed to be.
Soooo.... I've written way more than I had planned.. but I wanted to share with you this miracle in the midst of the madness, whether you believe or not, it was.